Weather or Not
In the immortal words of REM, 'shall we talk about the weather?' Or, in lyrics from another song of the late Eighties, 'everywhere you go, you take the weather, take the weather, take the weather with you.' Or maybe to be more precise, no matter what happens down here, the weather will be what it will be and there isn't a bloody thing we can do about it.
And the weather in August promises to be HOT. Hot and muggy. Weather so thick you need a skill saw to cut through it. Weather only reptiles can truly appreciate. Thank God we're surrounded by water, because we're going to need it. Sunscreen number 4000 might, MIGHT, do the trick. We're talking U.V. rays as big as Saturn's rings.
Still, its cooler up here than it is in the rest of the country. While you’re popping a tab, pulling a cork, or just stirring some fresh lemonade, remember that the heat index in the Beavers is less than two-thirds of what it is in New Orleans. No wonder they sans tops down there.
This heat should float right into the first week of September, when Mother Nature reminds us that we live above the 45th parallel. Until then, all thoughts of leaves being any other color than green aside, enjoy the warmth and stay as cool as possible, because 'cool is the rule' and 'no matter where you go, there you are.’
Always remember: this is not the cruelest month. That dubious honor belongs to April.
–Liam Racine
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